Bridge (He Could Have Been Me)

Poetic Background: This is one of my earliest dramatic poems and one of my personal favorites. Wrote this when I was in fourth year college.

Bridge (He Could Have Been Me)
Written by: Mark Francis G. Ng

I wrote a letter for her again today, as I would incessantly do
With words that came from my heart, with utmost sincerity, real and true
Through it I told her what I had longed and dreamed to say
Things that I know would bring her joy e’en though her skies were gray.

Each time I wrote I would always find a gentle smile painted on my face
A certain warmth I would always feel as if everything was in its place
To a sanctuary I would always head where she since then were my secret queen
All these things I dream of could be real, I thought, if only him I could have been.

Oftentimes when I write, though with words so lovely, I would find myself crying
For these feelings I have for her I have no choice but to keep in hiding
Because of a friend whom I so cherish, a friend with an admiration and a love so true
Someone who’s more worthy than I am, someone whom I know can love her more than I do.

She was my bosom friend, we’ve known each other since we were young
As children we would always play together, our favorite songs we have always both sung
I never did know what love was, never did know it was true
But all those changed the very moment I learned to see her in a different view.

I’ve always wanted to tell her how I truly feel
But I just could not find the right words to tell her that to me she was so dear
And just when I already found the courage to tell her, time had been so untame
Someone already told her that she was loved, words that from another person came.

He was my trusted friend, someone whom I met when I was growing up
Someone who taught me how to fly, someone who told me that to dream I should never stop
But to him life had been cruel, he always felt that he had no worth
Amidst his cheers, amidst the smiles, deep inside him I know he’s hurt.

I asked him if he loves her truly, he told me he sincerely does
That never did he love so truly, as pure as each breadth of grass
I asked her if she felt the same way, she told me, “Yes I love him too”
Deep inside I felt hurt, I wanted to tell her, “I was the first one who loved you”.

He asked me for a favor, for me to get him closer to her
Because of our friendship I said yes, but deeply I wanted to change the way things then were
But before I did so, I told him not to hurt her, to love her in ways I could have known how
He promised he shall do so, that he shall be truthful to his vow.

And so with every letter I wrote her, it hurts me somehow to find
His name signed on it, but with words that were really mine
From then on I’ve proven that my love for her was true
I wonder if she felt the same way for me too, if only she knew.

I created a bridge for him, so that in his arms she could reside
A bridge I’ve built long ago, to help guide and lead her to my side
Now that she’s with him, I see that she’s happy and free
But I could not help but ask myself, “Would she be happier if he could have been me?”


February 25, 2007
Sunday
11:30 p.m.